Yes, I admit that I am a weakling in love and I suck at it. I sometimes wonder that why is it that causes me to be like this. There is mainly 2 types of girls around me.

First, is those who can easily put down the relationship even tho they have been together for like fuckin long or they really loves the person but break up with the person cause of their characters.

Secondly is obviously those girls that are like me. We doesn't have the guts to really do so even thou we always hang the words around our mouth.

I have been wondering why am I like this ? Is it I am not strong will enough to do so or I cant bear to leave the person I love at all. Well, I think its both. I always place him as a very important person in my life. But he just don't treat me the same way as I treated him. He goes out with his friends and din tell me and when I found out he dont think its a big deal. I wanna tell him how sucky he have been letting me feel but he always being the one frustrated and telling me that he is sick and tired of me saying all these to him. So slowly, I began to keep everything to myself, tried my best not to make it feel this way.

Soon, I became very conscious of the things I am doing and the things that I will say. I dont want him to feel frustrated again cause if he feels so, he will become irritated of me talking and will just hang up the phone on me. I can't get angry cause he will get more angry and we will start to quarrel and he will say hurtful things to me which leads me to think if you really love me, how can all these words come out of your mouth ?

I am tired and extremely exhausted. I only can vent all my anger and thoughts here. I still love him, I really do but is it all worth it ? Even thou I change my temper, he still do things behind me back which I really detest. My brain is sick and tired of all these nonsense and he is not sorry over what he did.

He have his sweet side too. He will sms me sweet and cute sms and I already contended with all these he is giving me . Is it enough ? Its my life, why am I always trying to make others happy but not myself ? Are you sure you want to spend your rest of your life with him ? Right now, the answer is NO. It is because I will be unhappy for the rest of my life if he continues to be like this.

I need time to sort my thoughts and feelings. No point wasting time if he doesnt cherish all these things that I have done for him and things we gone through these years.

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