Internet sucks today but I still wanna blog. Shit things happen all time and I am feeling quite fucked up by it. I just feel not appreciated . And no one comes to my blog also . So like what is they point that I blog ? But certain times, a blog is better than a listening ear that I will need. It will listen to everything that I will have to say whether its good or bad.

I really need to rant at the things that have been on my head for a pretty long time. I have a feeling and doesn't know if anyone has ever come across it before a not. Someone who is very close to me have given me a " don't appreciate what I have done for him " feeling and in real fact, he did that to me . Maybe I was being paranoid to think like that but what if he do that in your face ? The way he talk to you is really bad and spiteful that you cant take it anymore.

When he did that to me just now. Out of a sudden, a gush of feelings come to me , I dont know how to describe it . I just suddenly feel damn sian and dun wanna get bothered with anything from him . Maybe not forever but at least just for now.

My mummy once told me, if it is yours then it will be . But who came out with that ? who say if its really yours , it will be ? who can justify that ? It is just a saying that last time people come up with to comfort the people who are feeling heartbroken due to relationship.

I just dont know what to do already . I am completely loss . I dun know who to turn to . I dun wanna to trouble people around me . I wanna solve the problem with him but everytime he just shuts me off by saying no need repeat already. I already know what you wanna say . But the point is that I haven even say finish, don't you think that when he is being like this, he feel sian when you keeping talking but there is no choice, you have to and must say because we all have to solve it if he doesn't let me continue how are we suppose to solve the problems we have ?

I really don't wanna end it but everytime when this happens, I feel tired, really really really very tired. I cannot stand it anymore. Last chance is always being given. But whenever this happen, I really wanna leave this but I just can't maybe because I like this so whenever I say something bad or whatever , it always doesn't come true so maybe he got used to it . But someday, it will happen .

But I still love you, bayb =DD

hee hee